Passport and Visa problems

So I now officially leave in a week yet I still don't have my passport back. I sent it to the Czech Consulate in mid-October and every time I call all they tell me is that my visa application is pending. The mysterious man on the other end told me it may be done either this week or next week. Hopefully it will be ready on Tuesday so I can fucking get on the plane to Paris/Dublin. If not, well, then I guess I'll be flying to LA to pick up the passport and then live in Prague illegally for a few months. We'll see what happens